Autor: Mircea

La mijloc de codru des

Nu e pic de wireless

Inainte de casatorie

Dupa 10 ani de casnicie

Nu am gasit morcov, dar am luat asta din sertarul mamei

Ioane, baga un vers daca vrei sa dai la Vera

Mihaita, s-o iei la muita!

Scula este cu aproximativ 50% mai mare la fumatori decat la nefumatori.

Salut! Sunt Sorin si-am venit s-o fut pe Melania!

S-o ce?

Sorin!

Cand te trezesti noaptea sa te uiti pe telefon dar ai luminozitatea la maxim

Women are so wonderful they can forgive you, even if you are innocent

Boobs

Enticing men to do stupid shit since the beginning of time.

Ferrero Rocher

Smh this nigga ain’t even off flight arrest yet n he’s already acting wild.

When your parents ask where all the tissues went

Revelion la Vaslui

Hey

Hey how are you?

Good, how are you doing?

Good thanks and you?

Good and you?

Good thanks

When you see that booty jiggle when she’s walking in her leggings

O femeie petrece in medie 5 ani din viata in baie

Un barbat petrece 3 ani la usa baii intreband femeia : „mai ai?”

Legend say it still has a full battery

femeile sunt topite dupa barbatii care stie sa se conpoarte

Trebuie sa-ti traiesti viata alaturi de oamenii cu care iti traiesti viata

When you tried to kill the spider but it runs away and now you can’t find it

2017 waiting for me like

Last Christmas I gave you my heart

But the very next day your body rejected the transplant and you died

Relationship goals

Why are they flat?

I could say the same thing about your tits

When she agrees to make a sex tape

-Mamico, ce este ejacularea?

-Draga mea, este acel moment cand barbatul isi pierde tot interesul pentru tine…

Work until your bank account looks like a phone number

Already done! Mine looks like an ambulance number

They said I could be anything so I became a swimmer

O petarda

Doua petarde

Good memories

Loading afro… 50%

WTF?

Doctor: hi how are you

ME: I’m well thanks

Doctor: get the fuck out then

Degeaba cur si tate, daca nu stii sa faci sarmale!

This boy was raised by two men. 32 years later, he blew up a planet. Still think it’s ok for gay couples to adopt?

Cunt destroyer

When she tries to kiss you AFTER HEAD

-Cum sa cuceresti o croitoreasa?

-Puteti sa-mi luati 20cm din pantalon.

Toata lumea da la buci, tu faci cruce si te culci

When your homie comes through & helps you out with a math problem you were struggling  with.

Blowjobs are like flowers for men.

Vine iarna si eu nu am relatie, pe cine pula mea o sa trimit la tigari?

Daca esti urata, esti urata! nu ma lua cu „frumusetea interioara”, ca nu am ochelari cu raze X

5 ore sa te aranjezi, depilezi, pensezi… Si te fute 3 minute

Had a fight with an ERECTION this morning BEAT IT single handed

Doctors be like…

Go buy this

Pussy Hair

Esti frumoasa ca o zi de sarbatoare… Ca sambata mortilor…

Trebuie sa vomit, dar nu pot

-Baga-ti degetul…

-Asa am auzit si eu dar tot nu merge, mi-am dat drumul de 8 ori dar de vomitat, nimic…

The truth about Original Sin